After Sister Saviour started dancing with me, Cowboy hurried downstairs and out of the room. I didn't see him as she walked me out a few minutes later when Wrecking Ball had arrived to drive me home. I'm still a bit embarrassed about that car ride. But I digress. When I got home, we had this conversation...
2:13 am. Cowboy: im sorry. im sorry i couldnt show you how i really felt about you. im sorry i wasnt the man you needed me to be. im sorry i couldnt say i love you when it mattered. i just want you to be happy. i do love you and wish only the best for you. goodbye [Horchata]. maybe some day i can actually just be a friend. until then i love you and good luck
2:15 am. Horchata: Im sorry I dnacef with youuuu. It eassnt nice ifvnmeee. I'm sorry I danced with you. It wasn't nice of me.
2:19 am. Cowboy: it was my mistake to have ever neglected you. so this is my mistake and i hope you someday forgive me because i know i should have never let you go
2:20 am. Horchata: Don'tt thinj kuke thst . Wer might nrot haveebeeen happy togthey. Look on the brugjt sid now y can fins slmeone whio is aesme. Don't think like that. We might not have been happy together. Look on the bright side; now you can find someone who is (?)awesome.
2:21 am. Cowboy: i dont want someone else and thats the problem
2:22 am. Horchata: Yiu eilll someday itis ibky earkty.. It eill giet easyer over tume. You will someday, it is (?!) early... It will get easier over time.
2:24 am. Cowboy: maybe. but either way i love. and i shouldnt have let you go. and im sorry i didnt do right. your what i wanted and somehow i fucked up and im sorry
2:28 am. Horchata: O fuckef up too don'tjust balne yourslegm. I fucked up too, don't just blame yourself.
2:29 am. Cowboy: maybe but i caused it
2:29 am. Horchata: I stul ldidbt have ti do whati dudm. Itvwas wrng. I still didn't have to do what I did. It was wrong.
2:32 am. Cowboy: perhaps but not now either way ive lost the woman i love and if i hadnt been such a fool maybe youd still be here with me. but i was.....and ur not....
2:35 am. Horchata: Ur makin me os saddddd im sorrrrrryyy :((((( You're making me so sad! I'm sorry :(
2:36 am. Cowboy: not as sorry as i am.
2:36 am. Horchata: U need a hugg. Go fnd someiebe and get ahug You need a hug. Go find (?)someone and get a hug.
2:38 am. Cowboy: it wouldnt be who i want it from
2:41 am. Horchata: Ur najing me feel so bad for leavibg. You're making me feel so bad for leaving.
2:44 am. Cowboy: you didnt i did. and thats on me. im responsible for this
2:51 am. Horchata: I eas done wuth us bwfire you left me. I hsd been done for awhuel. It us not yout fult, thid id what I do.. I was done with us before you left me. I had been done for a while. It is not your fault; this is what I do.
2:53 am. Cowboy: i just dont feel that way. cuz either way i do love you and i should have been smart about it from the beginning.
2:54 am. Horchata: Imsrrry. I am hsppy eith him noew. Im sorrry it didnt wokr eith ud I loved u tooo. Bu not enough I guedd, I'm sorry. I am happy with him now. I'm sorry it didn't work with us; I loved you too. But not enough I guess.
2:55 am. Cowboy: i know
2:58 am. Cowboy: thats why i left when i did. you deserve better
3:07 am. Horchata: So d u So do you.
3:15 am. Cowboy: maybe ill want something else someday
3:16 am. I hope som. You should wat soneine who wants yoy as much as you eant them. I hope so. You should want someone who wants you as much as you want them.
3:18 am. Cowboy: perhaps so
I just want to say, in my defence, that I have only had this phone a few weeks. It requires buttons to be pressed firmly with the smallest possible part of the finger, and even then I need to proofread twice before I send a text. Drinking eliminates both proofreading and paying attention to how much of my finger is touching the button. I'm not denying that I was ridiculously drunk. I just wanted to say I'm not proud of my writing skills here.
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