Relationship Issues

"Oh you had it, but oh no, you've lost it. You understood so you shouldn't have fought it."
- Vampire Weekend, Horchata


So here is the deal. After Cowboy dumped me, I spent a few weeks focusing on the bad aspects of our relationship, to make me feel better about it being over. These things include, but are not limited to:
- he never went to the doctor to get tested after I told him I had chlamydia (this one is a big one)
- he initiated unprotected sex in September, even though I said "no" and now I might have recaught chlamydia from him just because I didn't say "no" more than once and he never got tested (this is the worst one)
- he would just play XBox when I came over, but he would never play it WITH me and I never had anything to do
- he never seemed to care about me
- it was always my job to arrange when we would see each other (this contributed to the feeling that he didn't care)

After he broke up with me because he suspected (wrongly) that I was still in love with Acadia, I shut down for a couple of days. I didn't have that long though, because we broke up six days before my nineteenth birthday. I was going to get my drink on with all of my friends... including Wrecking Ball.

The morning of my birthday, I had a dream that I was dating Wrecking Ball. I don't remember any of the details any more. I recall only a sense of warmth, happiness, comfort, ease, stability... all of those feel-good sentiments you should get out of a fulfilling relationship. Or at least, the things I expect to find there.