Ride On, Then

"And the same old frustrations. I never thought that we'd throw it all away, but we threw it all away."
- Scouting For Girls, This Ain't A Love Song

Last night at work, Sin walked by me with a cute blond girl on his arm. He flashed me that goofy smile of his and I waved. It felt like exactly what it was: acquaintances acknowledging that they know one another. It's only the polite thing to do to someone you once dated, or so I assume.

But tonight, Cowboy walked by. Looked right at me, I swear he did, and didn't wave, or say "hi", or anything at all. I was instantly pissed off. I find that of all the emotions, anger always hits me fastest. He once went on about staying friends, but now he won't acknowledge my existence! I want to try and give him a bit of credit for being a nice guy because he doesn't seem to intentionally try to be a jerk, and he did ask me to tag along to coffee with a friend of his back in May (when I had fallen off the blog train). But when I texted him "happy birthday!" a few nights ago, the response was "thanks, little miss." And he knows how much I hated when he called me little or short. Just because he is unnaturally tall, does not mean that I am short. I am 5'7" (or 8"?), which is actually taller than the Canadian average (according to Wikipedia). When you look at how short my mom's side of the family all is, I'm lucky to have grown taller than 5'3". Hmph!

I'm getting angry again just typing this. And I'm also angry again about him breaking up with me. I'm having a little trouble seeing the good in it (we weren't right for each other, we weren't happy together, how could I have started to date Wrecking Ball while still dating Cowboy, etc) and I am just pissed off that he would dump me over a misunderstanding and then tell me he loves me three weeks later. What the fuck. I take back what I said about trying to call him a nice guy. He's a bitch. And since we're already going our separate ways, I'm not going to let this bug me any more. So, Cowboy, ride off into the sunset. I don't care about "staying friends" any more than you do, so let's not waste any more energy on pretending.