I Miss You

"I don't need to, but I want to, sing with you, 'cause I miss you."
- Kimya Dawson, I Miss You

Once almost every week, Love will text me and say she misses me, and we will make plans for me to go spend a night at her apartment in which we catch up with each other's lives. It is a text to which I look forward every week. It is very rare for any of my other friends to so blatantly express a desire to see me. I know that many of them enjoy my company (obviously, or they wouldn't make plans with me at all), but it is so nice of her to clearly say it: I miss you. Come visit me.

I wish I felt comfortable with saying something like that to people when I mean it. I missed Wrecking Ball's company tonight, but I didn't want to say so because we saw so much of each other yesterday (and also because that sentiment is in conflict with something I texted to him earlier in the evening).

I can never shake the feeling that I'm annoying. At work tonight, I was listening to Doll and Envy talk about another two of our coworkers, and I was unable to join the conversation, not because I had no complaints about these people (indeed, they are my two least favourite people to work with) but because I was afraid they wouldn't want me to join. I text people far less often than I think about texting them because I am worried I will bother them.