Fph.

So it's midway through July and I haven't posted since June. I'm lying here, pretending to make jokes and literary references in my mind that I will never put in this post because even I don't think they're funny or clever.

I don't know what to post about. I just re-read my last entry, so I suppose I can update that: those kitties didn't make it, and I didn't get the internship.

But on the bright side

...

Eh. I'm in a foul mood. I have been handing out resumes and getting nothing back for weeks now. Some people to whom I mention this fact say things that are mildly helpful, some say things that are probably meant to be comforting but actually kind of make me want to curl up in a ball and give up on this whole "employment" thing. What do I need money for, anyway? I'm only going to Toronto in a few weeks, and starting school shortly after that. Sigh.

I'm teetering between feelings of apathy and anger about the whole situation. Right now I'm apathetic, just lying on my bed, propped up by so many pillows that it's like I'm sitting up. Air conditioner is pointed right at me.

I'm afraid to check my bank and credit card balances because I don't want to see that I can't afford to go visit Rose. She's so excited, and I'm so excited (when I'm not wallowing in self-pity and misery). I really feel like the short little trip would inject some life back in me. It would be a nice escape, a week of pretending I have nothing to worry about. I've been scheming ways to extend the trip but I don't have anything concrete yet.